Hey
I thought that this time I would do a video (or should I say videos). It’s been a bit of a pain trying to get my iPad to upload the videos so have had to cut them! So sorry they are in several parts🙂.
Hope you get some insight into the Cellnovo system.
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Since protein snacks in general tend to cost a bomb, I like to try from time to time recipes that don’t need expensive ingredients and are easy to make. I hate it when they lost ingredients I’ve never heard off… Elixir of young purple unicorn… Erm no.
So since I already had the FitMenCook app on my iPad I thought I would give these a try. You can make it as cheap or expensive as you need. Since I only need to buy rice Crispies, already having the rest of the ingredients in my cupboard.
There is no cooking involved and thankfully no blending as mine has give up the go, and I’m too broke to buy another right now!
Ingredients needed:
120 g almond butter (or whatever nut butter you like)
170 g honey
75g rice Crispies
1tsp cinnamon
1 scoop of protein powder (I used optimum nutrition vanilla)
Mix together the nut butter and honey, zap in microwave for few seconds if not runny enough. Add in cinnamon and protein powder then slowly combine the rice Crispies. Leave to rest for 20 mins in fridge in whatever container you want to use. It should make 15.
Using the products I purchased gives you these macros
and look like this
Here is the link for FitMenCook recipe http://fitmencook.com/10-minute-protein-brown-rice-crispies-treats/
Or here is a screen shot ;-)
If it’s one thing I hate is feeling exhausted. I workout 5-6 times a week, come Thursday I am always ready for a rest. I’ve been training hard so I deserve that long soak with bubble bath and to read a good novel.
What you should never do is let your gym class friends talk you into doing another gym class on your rest day… That being body pump. I do five days a week of weight training as it is, Thursday as I have already said is my rest day… I needed pre workout just to get me there. I can normally lift quite heavy weights… 20 kg on squat track killed my shoulders never mind my legs just to hold it there. They felt bruised. Everything felt like an effort. Why the hell am I here!?
Later that night I had to get Gav to massage my shoulders, I felt like a mess. I felt like I needed a sports massage. What is going on? I over slept by an hour the following day, typing at work hurt as my wrists were aching from bent over row. All I craved was carbs and unhealthy food… I.e. Crisps and chocolate.
So here I am aching all over but not in a good way, feeling exhausted , hungry, grumpy, tired… A walking disaster!
Another subject altogether, working out with gym class friends in weights room is a whole different story, in class it works but in weights room you become the PT as they are used to being prompted to what moves to do.
Lindsay needs some head space working out alone too sometimes!
Bye for now from a grumpy, glycogen depleted Lindsay
Nothing beats that “pumped” feeling. If you lift you will get this. Obviously you get those people who like to pass you the odd comment, about getting bulky like a man… But let’s be honest I don’t have the right hormones for that crap. Plus what’s wrong with feeling good inside and out? Does it really concern anyone else… No.
I initially started lifting weights two years ago due to injury from running, I was gutted that I couldn’t run the miles I used to. I thought running was my therapy, my mindfulness, to switch off from the world. It took me a while to get into the habit, my goal to strengthen my quads and generally tone up. If I’m honest I hated it, I hadn’t been in the weights room for a good few years, just guessing at what I was doing. So I went and seen my Glenn who happens to be a Personal Trainer who sorted me out with a plan which included still being able to do the fitness classes I still enjoy now… Yes to see myself improving but also I get to see my friends, part of the gym is my social life, talking to others who enjoy spending their free time like you, keeping fit.
It did take quite a while for it to becomes habit. Also battling anxiety and depression, not having a great work life balance, that I just kept exhausting myself. This was something I needed to sort myself. I wasn’t going to progress physically until I sorted out where I was mentally.
Having type 1 diabetes is a challenge in itself, especially when it comes to exercise. As I had been so used to what I do during running, needing a lot less insulin it felt like a whole new world being in the weights room.
In January I made it my New Years resolution to finally get myself back on track. I downloaded the bikini guide from LDNMuscle got myself into a routine and watched the progress unveil itself in front of the mirror. Yes that sounds vain, but like I say I’m not here to please anyone else but myself.
Having had an awful start to the year with one thing and another my blood sugars had been on the higher side. But I did not give up, I kept trying over and over, my body was progressing on the outside, I was starting to feel happy. But the diabetes like always takes a while to adjust. It has only been in the last month that it has finally clicked into place! For weight lifting I tend to bolus 1-2 units 15 minutes before I start and increase my basal rate by 60% for the hour during and hour after. This stops my blood sugars going from in target to up to 18.0 mmol. As the weeks progress obviously upping the weights had made my blood sugars sky rocket. I’m happy that finally I have a rough idea what to go on. That works for me!
I am not onto LDNmuscle cutting guide. It is certainly giving me the results I wanted. But most importantly the gym for me is my antidepressant. It keeps me sane and is my me time when I need to escape from the madness of home or work life.
Let’s be honest, diabetes is never clear cut. But when you are faced with trying to decide “where do we go from here” you are left out on limb or feeling like its on a whim… However you want to phrase it, with what is the next best step for your care… Frankly it’s frustrating, scary or down right ridiculous.
It’s clear whatever had been working…. Whenever “had” was it was a long time ago and you seem to just muddle through hoping for the best, dreading looking at that number as it’s going to be another that’s not in target, getting disheartened that you then begin in the cycle of “who cares” but deep down you do, but in goes that other slice of cake, carry on fooling yourself you are healthy by keeping up with weight training, yes getting physically stronger on outside, but inside… Nope. This then starts to fester you get caught up in this vicious circle of “diabetes doom and gloom”, anxiety increasing and the truth gets further away and start believing things have always been this way…. Ah! Brain fog, judgment gets confusing and judgement of yourself goes up.
So you peek your head out of the diabetes cave you have been living in, thinking “this doesn’t seem so bad”, have one hour of great blood sugars and then back to square one.
So you keep trying to beat the beast, but it feels like you are constantly battling with the beast and getting more confused with numbers, feeling exhausted and all you have been doing is sitting there. What a funny thing our brains are.
Facts:
Anxiety:
So as I keep asking where do we go from here. Since I’ve been having allergic reactions to the omnipod I’m looking to trial cellnovo. I just hope I can get back to how my control was when on my combo pump. Especially if I want to think about having children.
Diabetes you are a pain in the backside!
Coming towards the end of bikini guide I was stuck with where to go next, the LDN guys suggested the cutting guide. As I was impressed with their guides so far, I thought why not. I don’t feel like I need to go and ask someone what the hell that move is, it’s clear, easy to follow and certainly gives you the results!
I will have to be honest I didn’t stick strictly to the bikini guide as in the tempo and weight I should be using, but I have had a lot to contend with, my dad having emergency operation, being in hospital for a month then going back in again with a chest infection. I just needed some guidance and some headspace and this is exactly what it gave me. Who can’t beat a good medicine ball slam when you are that upset, with the thought you might need to turn your dads machine off. It’s the best feeling ever, other than boxing!
So here we are back at week 1, a different plan. I am looking forward to seeing the gains over the coming weeks. But first let’s take a look over the last few months in pictures… My measurements in terms on centremeters may not have changed, but my body shape certainly has!
January 2016 through to June 2016
Now after having a week in lovely sunny Malta it’s time to get back to my normal eating habits and burn off the 2% increase in body fat and find the pound of muscle I lost! Oh and work on the six pack which is obviously hiding behind that 2% fat gain.
It’s soon to be diabetes week, this years theme on myth busting. My whole life I spend either judging myself or others judging me, being misunderstood whether that comes down to me being me, or diabetes.
Whilst I have a three hour flight to kill to Malta, I thought it a great opportunity to do some reflecting.
Being misunderstood: Now there might be plenty of people with diabetes that find it easy to express their feelings around diabetes verbally. I for one do not. For many years (16 years to be precise), I have had this condition that’s taken over my life, it consumes a lot of my thoughts and every day actions. It feels like a burden to me, so the last thing I like to do with feel a burden to others. So I tend to put a front on and swallow those emotions whole. Now, when it comes down to writing how I feel this is something I excel at, I have time to think and make sense without upsetting people. So, in life I understand that plenty of people do not understand me, to them I either seem rude, cold or on edge. In fact I am none of those things. I am simply anxious up to my eyeballs and inside screaming, so what comes out on the outside is me in shut down mode.
Judging: I do this all day long, how many carbs are in that meal, how much insulin do I need based on the carbs, current blood sugar level, have I just exercised, how long is it going to take to digest, what is my insulin to carb ratio, insulin sensitivity factor. Judging from others is something you can change by educating them, no I am not too young to have diabetes, no I didn’t eat too much sugar, no if I lost weight could I stop my medication. Unfortunately it is lifelong and it’s not going anywhere matey. This is the difference it is hard to get someone to understand you when you seem a puzzle to them, but you can change someone’s knowledge on a subject they obviously don’t know too much about, or had first hand experience with other than their nans, brothers, aunts, sisters cat.
Airports: MY WORST NIGHTMARE! I hate going through customs. Now I don’t know if people with other conditions experience the same, but for me it fills me with dread. Obviously being an insulin pump wearer, I cannot go through metal detector or full body scanner, but twice at both Birmingham and East Midlands airport, they just don’t seem to get it. As I wear an omnipod I can’t unclip my pump not you should be made to either. I see their faces, looking annoyed. I try and explain to them they are happy for my insulin and handset not to go through the bag scanner and just be swabbed, then why does it make a difference when I wearing it. They proceed to tell me that it’s perfectly safe, pacemakers can go through. But here’s the thing it’s my pancreas that is fucked not my heart, plus a pacemaker does not contain insulin. How can you compare the two you imbecile. They then, still don’t listen so you being to get distressed, just swab my pump for god sake! To take me to a side room to take all my clothes off then use the metal detector all over including rubbing private parts. I am not a criminal I am just diabetic (not that there is nothing just about it).
So here we are having come full circle, being misunderstood and judged. Educate as much as you can, you are unfortunately sometimes out there on your own!
Ever since I was invited by wonderful Abbott to attend this amazing event there was one obstacle in my way… Flying. I’m not a huge fan of flying, not sure of where my anxiety came from but to fly on my own how was I going to cope. I’m not sure if it’s due to the fact that I am not in control, I should be used to this by now with diabetes! The fact that I had to get two flights to get there, I envisaged myself having a complete meltdown/panic attack. But actually I managed it, I have been through a whole lot worse in the last few months with my dad nearly dying and talking about switching the machine off, that this was a walk in the park.
I met some interesting people on route, when normally I would not be travelling alone, it was nice to hear their stories. One thing I am not a fan of, if customs at the airport. My heart pounds, I get sweaty palms. I feel like I am a criminal, also get treated like one when you refuse to go through the full body scanner, to be taken to a side room for a pat down and swab my pump… All seems a bit over the top. It makes me wish the airports understood more about insulin pumps.
The whole weekend has been a surreal, inspiring, tiring experience. A lot of information, a lot of meeting of people I have never met and not a lot of sleep! Hearing all these amazing things other T1D folks have been doing is amazing, I felt rather guilty that I haven’t been able to do much for my young adult group for a long time, but then I have had such a horrendous time in the last few months I couldn’t mentally take it up, I think I need some help and not let it all rest on my shoulders unfortunately.
On the Saturday we had various talks from professionals with all backgrounds, the one that I enjoyed the most was Kate Steele about creative writing/storytelling. If there is one thing I miss is writing. As sad as it must sound I am always playing out stories in my head but never write them down. I know I have a good imagination if somewhat strange😉 so maybe I might start with some short stories🙂.
We also had a workshop on snapchat, I have only been using this in the last couple of months, with assistance from Heena, Apprentice at work who is 11 years younger than me… If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have a clue! I’m not sure how you make a career from snapchat but somehow Geir Ove Pederson manages to do just that. I don’t think I will be doing that anytime soon, but I will stick to friends and family with my silly photos and videos if you want to add me then sweetpea_lynz88 is the name.
One workshop that I found interesting but equally depressing was from Rudy de Waele futurist, it’s fascinating how technology advancement can hel in the world of diabetes, but robots replacing our jobs and flying cars is just not for me. Nothing wrong with a bit of make do and mend or up cycling.
We had a couple of other workshops from Marie Ennis O’Connor who like many other patient advocates out there has done many marvellous things to help patients care, really inspiring. Also a workshop from Rebecka Bobst on Mindfulness, which I think if you didn’t want to participate then you should have had the option to leave the room, I enjoyed this but found it hard to switch off with people sniggering or an uncomfortable chair! Mindfulness has helped me and my anxiety in many ways and wish I practised it more often.
I really wish I had more time to get to know everyone and enjoy Stockholm, but arriving a little too late on the Friday probably didn’t help, then having to leave early on the Sunday. Hopefully we will all keep in touch via the tinternet!
I still can’t believe I was invited, it really was a surreal experience. I never did take any photos, one of the things when I’m having fun, I always seem to forget!!! One question I still need to know the answer to… What does Dx stand for? In my medical world it means diagnosis🙂
Well where do I start…. It has been awful the last two weeks. That probably doesn’t actually even begin to explain all the emotions I have been through.
My poor dad has been unwell for a long time. Suffering with lots of different illnesses, but namely diverticulitis is the one that has been plaguing him the most of late. In laymans terms his colon had burst inside him and was slowly or quickly, filling up with pus. He was dying. With the best will in the world there was no escaping this one. There is no where to hide. The decision was made, you either die in pain or die trying to save yourself with an operation. Which he only had 50/50 chance of surviving due to his COPD. He was going to end up with a bag (he in fact now has two bags).
My dad (no puns intended) was shitting himself, he was panicked, he had no time to prepare as this was an emergency situation. I asked him in the last couple of days (just over a week since that deciding moment), what was going through his mind. He was practicing mindfulness, taking himself to a place where no one could reach him, calming himself, and it worked. This really hit me, I keep banging on to him about mindfulness the weeks leading up to being so unwell, to help him through the pain, but he had mastered what I sometimes find so difficult to achieve. It struck me how strong my dad is when he seemed so weak physically.
It’s hard to sum it up, I know my situation is no where near the same as my dads, I never had an emergency operation. But also having had a near death experience brought it back to me. Just how strong your body is! I don’t think to think about my diagnosis too much, it was frightening, and sometimes feel overwhelmed with the feeling I am still going strong now. It’s amazing what our bodies can go through. Having a new diagnosis or adjusting to a new way of living, is scary, as the title of my blog says, you feel the fear but do it anyway. You are a lot stronger than you think, It’s exactly the last words I said to my dad before they wheeled him off for his surgery. Watching him learn how to put his bags on, struggling at times and the sense of achievement when you have managed to do it all by yourself. Reminds me also of having to give myself that first syringe of insulin, with your mum , dad and nurse watching…. “You want me to do it?” “You are trusting a 12 year old me to just have a go at stabbing myself”. That was the most daunting experience of my life. But hey it is also the best, I am independent and strong, I am alive.
Never underestimate yourself, ciao🙂 xx
It has been quite a while since I last blogged. Â I have been busy concentrating on me. Â I know that sounds crazy as I must think about myself all day long, how much insulin to have, how many carbs am I putting into my body. Â But actually diabetes is not all of me or who I am. Â It has not been my main focus and nor should it be. Â It has had a field day in recent months, taking control, telling me how I should be feeling. Â But enough it enough. I needed a holiday. Â Mentally, I needed a holiday.
I put more time into things I enjoy, working out and generally any kind of fitness class/exercise. Â So maybe my readings have not been the best, my HbA1c staying consistent at 7.5% for the last 4 months. Â It is not ideal, but also it is not going to kill me.
As for my stats.  As I have felt happier in myself I have indeed put some weight on.  But if I am honest.  I am not bothered as long as I am not loosing weight.  I am slim enough as it is.  If anything I could do with a few more muscles😉.
I am now on week 12 of LDNM Bikini Guide and as of week 13 I move onto a slightly different plan, which looks quite intense!
Stats:
Jan 10th 2016                Feb 14th 2016       April 1st 2016
Weight: 53kg                52 kg             55 kg
Waist: 65 cm                 65 cm                      66 cm
Bum: 95 cm                  93 cm                     94 cm
Thigh: 54 cm                 54 cm                     55 cm
Arm: 28 cm                 27.5 cm                    28 cm
Chest: 84.5 cm              84.5 cm                    86.5 cm
As the scales tell me I weigh 3 kg heavier than back in Feb, I have managed to put on 2 lb of muscle and 1 lb of fat since begin on March.  So I am moving in the right direction.  I have also put on 3% body fat taking me to 26% body fat.  Most of my training is steady state.  There is only one way I am going to get this stubborn body fat and that’s mixing in some HIIT… not some fad diet or anything else that I wont stick at.  So I will be going back to GRIT and once a week with my personal trainer plyo workout.  Hopefully I will look like wonder woman in another months time😉.
There is a bonus that my metabolic age is 20… 8 years younger. Â I will take that.
Another challenge will be to try and reduce my HbA1c by 1%… so I won’t be following any diet. Â Just listening to my body, try not to get so burnt out trying to fathom why it all goes wrong sometimes. Â My biggest challenge is getting my head around, digestion time of foods and splitting my insulin correctly. Â I never seem to get this right. Â I also think this is the main factor for higher HbA1c. Â Also stress, lack of sleep and just human error.
Sorry for no wonderful photos, i’m crap at taking selfies and my assistant is out at the moment!
Ciao bella xx
